Best Man Duties - Toasting
Lee Asher
An essential ingredient of any wedding, toasts have several functions. They give some of the principals at the wedding an opportunity to put their feelings into words and to express the collective feelings of everyone there. The toasts are also the first chance to introduce another essential ingredient: humor. And, most importantly, the speeches are a signal for the wedding to progress from the formal to the informal. At their conclusion, the bride and the groom, and the friends and relatives who have contributed to the day's success, can relax and enjoy themselves.
The best man traditionally offers the first toast at a wedding. His toast can offer a thought provoking look at married life, honor his friendship with the groom or reveal intimate and often embarrassing details of the couple's courtship. The traditional toast is simply a short speech given verbally but best men are free to try other approaches to the toast such as a slideshow or a video presentation. The best man could also choose to give a verbal toast with a few new twists.
The traditional best man's toast is a verbal speech that is given early in the reception. Although it is unoriginal, this type of toast is widely accepted and popular. If the best man is married himself, he may want to take this opportunity to offer the couple some sage advice for enjoying a happy and peaceful marriage. He may also wish to simply state why he admires the bride and the groom and offer his best wishes. Still another popular option for this traditional version of a best man's toast is to regale the guests with a slew of stories from the groom's wilder days. This, however, is not recommended at a wedding attended by mostly conservative guests as this can be embarrassing to both the couple and the guests.
A video presentation is another unique way to make the best man's toast. One way to do this is to arrange meetings with close friends and family members and ask them a series of questions about love and relationships and videotape their answers. You could then videotape yourself giving a short toast and introducing the other members on the tape. This is an excellent idea for the best man who is afraid that he will forget what he wants to say on the wedding day. The video allows him to practice his speech and record it over and over again until it is perfect.
A slideshow is on increasingly popular way for the best man to toast the new couple. You could take the opportunity to display various pictures of the bride and groom separately and as a couple. One option is to interview both parents prior to the wedding and ask them to contribute pictures of their child from when they were a baby until now. You would ask the parents a series of questions about the bride or grooms childhood, adolescence and adult life. Then you could take the pictures and arrange them in a slideshow presentation that you could narrate with information gleaned from your interviews. This type of toast is especially popular with the older generation in attendance at the wedding because many of them knew the bride or groom as children and will enjoy reminiscing about those times through the pictures and stories.
If the best man is linguistically inclined he may also wish to write a short poem or song about the couple. This poem or song could either be sweet and sentimental or funny and potentially embarrassing to the couple. Although the best man may be making the same points that he would in giving a traditional speech, the use of a poem or song to convey the sentiment makes it more original and amusing for the guests.
Another original toast idea is the idea of memory boxes. The best man could talk to the parents of the bride and groom ahead of time and obtain a few objects from their pasts such a photos, childhood security blankets and special gifts from loved ones. The bet man would put each of these items into one of the boxes and leave the other one empty. When it comes time for the toast the best man could present the couple with the filled box. He would then open the box and explain the story behind each of the memory items. When he is done with the first box, he could present the couple with the second box and explain that this box is for the couple to fill up with keepsakes of the memories that they will share together.
There are a variety of toasting options available to the best man. Whether he chooses to speak from the heart with an unprepared speech or invest time prior to the wedding to put together an elaborate presentation, the toast is sure to be appreciated as long as the best man is speaking from his heart.
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